Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things that can happen to a person, and the idea of moving on to start “widow dating” can feel impossible. Some people decide to never be in a relationship again, and they even follow through with it. Others, however, jump back into dating.
Everyone, no matter what they have been through, deserves to be happy and to be with someone. Fortunately, widow dating is a niche market of online dating that makes this process easier for recent widows and widowers. Whether you are a young or old widow/er, read on to learn more.
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What do I need to know?
How does widow dating and widower dating work?
Online widow or widower dating is a service that caters exclusively to people who have lost a spouse or loved one and are looking to move on with a new partner. This doesn’t always mean that members are interested in marriage, but they do want a new relationship, be it either casual or serious.
Dating after losing your spouse is difficult. It is important to remind yourself that finding love and happiness doesn’t mean you are replacing what you once had, nor are you forgetting about your spouse.
Widow dating is exactly like a normal online dating service, except that its members are the surviving partner in either a marriage or a long-lasting relationship. All members are familiar with separation, loss, or death.
Simply sign up and create a profile, search for members who are a match for you, and start reaching out to see who else is interested. Many users may be sensitive to their loss and are using these services to get a fresh start on life, possibly looking for a companion or marriage partner.
People who use these services are generally more understanding of your situation because they are going through a similar process. You should be equally understanding of their situation, too. You can feel free to be as open as you are comfortable with being about your loss.
What about dating for young widows?
Widow dating services don’t just cater to an older crowd. Users of all ages enjoy widow dating services as a way to move on from losing a loved one. After all, widows and widowers are people going through the same experience regardless of their age.
Everyone deals with their grief in their own way. However, one’s age does not severely change how men and women respond to loss. Widows and widowers of all ages can focus on dating in their desired age group, filtering to meet their needs.
Regardless of how you approach it, there are plenty of opportunities for young widows and widowers to meet someone new.
What to keep in mind when you start widow dating online?
There is no universal guide for getting started with dating again after you lose your spouse. However, there are some pretty clear ideas on what you can do to begin this process the right way. Read on to learn more about widow dating and what to be aware of:
- Wait until you feel ready to start dating again – Overcoming your grief can take any amount of time, and for many people they may never move beyond it. Processing grief is a unique experience for everyone and there’s no such thing as a time frame for it. The important thing is that you shouldn’t let others tell you when to move on to something new, and you shouldn’t force yourself to start dating again if you aren’t ready for it. Wait for the right time.
- Understand why you want to date again – Just as how you shouldn’t rush into dating after losing a spouse, you should consider what it is you want out of a new relationship. It’s okay to date because you are lonely or want some company. Try to avoid doing it just to fill a void, as you may end up hurting yourself or the other person in the process.
- You will feel guilt – A common remark from widows and widowers newly dating is the feeling cheating on their spouse. You may feel some pressure or judgement from your friends and ex-friends for trying to move on. Know this: dating again is not wrong. You have every right in the world to do so and no one has a say in when you may or may not start again.
- Avoid using your date as a therapist – It is important in every relationship to be honest, and telling your new dating partner about how you felt for your deceased spouse is okay. However, you should be aware that you can’t spend your entire date talking about your ex-spouse. Feel free to talk to them as openly as you want to, but remember to give them some attention.
- Plan ahead – It is important to look ahead and make a plan for where you want to go and what you want do. When you do start dating again, focus on what it is you hope to do in the future. Consider what you would like to do with your potential partner and whether a life together is possible for the both of you.
- Take your time – Once you find someone that is the right fit for you, you may feel tempted to rush into marriage with them. Resist the temptation and make sure that the both of you take your time to be certain that a long-term, committed relationship is what you are both looking for.
Which is the right widow dating service?
Finding the right online widow dating service for you can be tricky, and typically involves a lot of trial and error. This can be over whether you like their dating features, if the members are what you are looking for, and if there are any additional things about the site that seem appealing to you.
The more features a widow dating site offers you the better. This may include just chatting, or could extend to options for organizing and taking part in a larger meetup. What will be available to you can vary per site. Look for what fits your needs and what you are comfortable with.
Looking for dating sites that are a little out there? Check out some of the weirdest dating sites on the web!
The most important thing is to take this process slowly. Don’t rush into an online widow dating service if you aren’t ready for a new relationship. When you are ready, take the step that is right for you, and don’t be afraid to start a new relationship. You are entitled to be happy again, after all.
Widow Dating FAQ
Dating after having lost a loved one can be a tumultuous experience, and trying to start a relationship with someone whose loved one has passed on can be a trying time. To help make this easier, we’ve answered some of the most frequently asked questions about widow dating.
When to start widow dating after becoming a widow or widower?
This is an extremely personal question and will depend on how comfortable you feel. There’s no need to rush out to find someone, and you shouldn’t put yourself into the world of dating again if you aren’t ready to be looking to date someone else again. You really need to take the time that is necessary.
There’s no generic time frame to give you, but at least wait a year at the earliest to start thinking about it. This is again flexible, but we do feel that giving yourself the right amount of time to grieve and come to terms with what has happened is important.
Is widow dating for seniors?
Not just seniors, although there are many users on these services who are older. These kinds of dating websites and apps are for anyone who has lost a spouse or life partner and is looking to find love again as they move on. They all share in that traumatic experience and can be of any age.
How to enjoy widow dating when you or your partner have children?
Dating while you have kids can be a tricky thing in and of itself. The best thing you can do if either you or your date have children, or both, is to take their opinions seriously and listen to what they have to say. Accepting a new mother or father is hard, and both you and your date need to respect that.
Don’t force a relationship if there is tension between your date and the kids, or if there is tension between you and their kids. It won’t go well in the long run if you push it, and maybe better to give everyone more time.