How to flirt on swingers’ sites without crossing the line

Last Updated:

The first thing to remember is that the messages you’re reading are coming from real-life people, who are probably as nervous and excited as you are. Be prepared to forgive the occasional faux-pas and, certainly in the early stages, read between the lines. However, don’t leave yourself open to abuse on swinging website.

Two sexy men and a hot women lying in bed together, ready for a swinger's night
  • Start gently. The first step to securing a face-to-face encounter is to engage on a personal level. This might seem mundane, but you want to know that the people you’re communicating with are both legitimate, and like-minded. You might want to read this article first, it contains everything you need to know before you get into swinging. Get to know the other users before you meet up.
  • Stay positive. While there are going to be some boundaries to be set, slamming them on the table as your opening gambit is more likely to put people off than attract them. Focus on the things you do like, rather than those you don’t. Those can be saved for another day.
  • Give compliments. Flattery gets you everywhere, so don’t be shy to say how good someone else’s profile pic looks or to tell them what you like about their messages. Don’t overload it; a select sprinkling will push all the right buttons.
  • Don’t play your trump cards at the start of the game. Your profile pictures will show any interested parties what they need to now. If you’re interested in making your swinger profile stand out, click here!
  • Wait until you’ve established a genuine connection before you start sending anything explicit. There’s nothing sexier than a bit of mystery.
  • Go with the flow. Once a connection has been established, the gloves are off. This is the point where you can exchange dirty talk, fantasies and photos. However, also remember that it’s the point where you can establish boundaries. If certain things are off the menu, now’s the time to say.

Two blonde women and two dark haired men are posing together, preparing for a swinger's party

Taking the flirting further

Once you’ve established a connection with other users, the next step is to hook up. However, be sure to chat this through that you’re both up for it before moving things up a notch. You’ll need to exchange numbers and sort out a where and a when.

A good idea for newbies is to only reveal one contact number which, traditionally, is usually the males. It’s also a good idea to schedule your first encounter in an environment in which you feel safe. Hotels are a good idea to begin with, as they’re not your home and you can leave whenever you like.

Only once you fully trust the other couple should you invite them to your home. While this can be exciting, convenient and fun, it should be reserved for the select few and only when you’ve got to know them properly.

Find the best casual dating sites for UK swingers

If you’re looking to find the best casual dating sites for swinging in the UK, then look no further.

Most Popular Choice
9.8
Mingl3
  • Best for anonymous and discreet encounters
  • Free registration and free membership
  • Chat with thousands of attractive singles
9.7
Flirthits
  • Easy to use chat service for quick connections
  • Popular in the UK for singles
  • Flexible matching for local and abroad
9.4
MilfFinder
  • Only mature women who really know what they want are members of MilfFinder
  • Milfs that know exactly what they are looking for
  • Younger men... and middle-aged men are the most popular!
9.1
DateYourGirl
  • Meet attractive Asian, European, & Latino singles
  • Quick and free signup 
  • Casual or serious online dating
8.7
Ulla
  • Ignite romance right in your vicinity
  • Enjoy exact matching thanks to accurate filters;
  • And explore many more benefits that will help you find love!
8.4
MatureDating

 

  • Experienced singles looking for good relationships
  • Excellent atmosphere to get closer easily
  • Online chatting with attractive people
7.9
Singles Meets
  • Large User Base: Connect with thousands of singles across the UK.
  • Easy Navigation: User-friendly interface for hassle-free browsing.
  • Quick Matches: Find compatible matches in no time.
7.8
DateMyAge
  • Popular mature dating site for people who know what they want in a partner
  • Singles 40s+ looking to date like-minded singles searching for the same thing
  • Free & easy-to-use interface, optimized for all devices
7.2
FlirtsNearby
  • Localized Connections: connect with singles in the UK
  • Tailored Matching Algorithm: increasing the likelihood of meaningful connections
  • User-Friendly Interface: making the process of finding matches effortless
6.9
Elite Singles
  • Over 13 million active users on the site 
  • Intelligent matchmaking based on background and interests
  • 85% of members have a professional background 
6.4
Pukbo
  • Welcome Offer for new members
  • Unique VIP Content for premium members
  • Maximum payment security (Google Pay, Apple Pay etc.)
6.3
Adult Friend Finder
  • Popular choice for no strings attached connections
  • Connect with +94 million open-minded individuals
  • Get started for free!
6.2
OneNightFriend
  • Easy casual encounters with locals
  • Flexible for at home or on the go
  • Discreet to keep your fun private
6.1
MyFunDate
 
  • Free, fast and easy registration
  • Real girls from 180 countries
  • Highly engaged and active community
5.9
SecretBenefits
  • Young and attractive single women waiting for you
  • Meet sexy, easy-going women
  • Customer satisfaction centered brand
 ​​​​​
5.6
Only-Flirts
  • Easy and convenient interface
  • Perfect for casual dating & hookups
  • Plenty of members for you to have fun with
5.6
Lovnet
 
  • Search millions of profiles, chat in real-time and share your photos
  • Find, communicate and meet with like-minded people.
  • Discreet
5.4
FriendswithBenefits
  • Make friends and more quickly
  • Find out who in the UK is up for fun
  • No-strings attached sex
5.1
C-Date
  • Enjoy fast and easy hookups
  • Meet with local UK singles or couples
  • Meet others in an active, supportive community
5.0
SugarDaddy
  • The best sugar daddy dating site you will find
  • Exclusive community for successful and attractive individuals
  • Efficient search filters for finding ideal matches quickly
5.0
Dirtydating
  • Free sign-up!
  • +100.000 women
  • 100% discrete
5.0
Ashley Madison
  • Best for open-minded looking for “no strings attached” fun
  • Free membership
  • 54 million users 
5.0
CupiDates
  • Large database of Asian and European singles in the UK
  • Full control of your profile to set your desired privacy settings
  • Attend virtual events to meet even more members