How to flirt on swingers’ sites without crossing the line

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The first thing to remember is that the messages you’re reading are coming from real-life people, who are probably as nervous and excited as you are. Be prepared to forgive the occasional faux-pas and, certainly in the early stages, read between the lines. However, don’t leave yourself open to abuse on swinging website.

Two sexy men and a hot women lying in bed together, ready for a swinger's night
  • Start gently. The first step to securing a face-to-face encounter is to engage on a personal level. This might seem mundane, but you want to know that the people you’re communicating with are both legitimate, and like-minded. You might want to read this article first, it contains everything you need to know before you get into swinging. Get to know the other users before you meet up.
  • Stay positive. While there are going to be some boundaries to be set, slamming them on the table as your opening gambit is more likely to put people off than attract them. Focus on the things you do like, rather than those you don’t. Those can be saved for another day.
  • Give compliments. Flattery gets you everywhere, so don’t be shy to say how good someone else’s profile pic looks or to tell them what you like about their messages. Don’t overload it; a select sprinkling will push all the right buttons.
  • Don’t play your trump cards at the start of the game. Your profile pictures will show any interested parties what they need to now. If you’re interested in making your swinger profile stand out, click here!
  • Wait until you’ve established a genuine connection before you start sending anything explicit. There’s nothing sexier than a bit of mystery.
  • Go with the flow. Once a connection has been established, the gloves are off. This is the point where you can exchange dirty talk, fantasies and photos. However, also remember that it’s the point where you can establish boundaries. If certain things are off the menu, now’s the time to say.

Two blonde women and two dark haired men are posing together, preparing for a swinger's party

Taking the flirting further

Once you’ve established a connection with other users, the next step is to hook up. However, be sure to chat this through that you’re both up for it before moving things up a notch. You’ll need to exchange numbers and sort out a where and a when.

A good idea for newbies is to only reveal one contact number which, traditionally, is usually the males. It’s also a good idea to schedule your first encounter in an environment in which you feel safe. Hotels are a good idea to begin with, as they’re not your home and you can leave whenever you like.

Only once you fully trust the other couple should you invite them to your home. While this can be exciting, convenient and fun, it should be reserved for the select few and only when you’ve got to know them properly.

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